The art of avoiding regret

The stakes can feel high when you are buying and selling real estate. Buyers worry they might be overpaying or they wonder what will happen if a better house comes along after they are under contract. Sellers worry they are under pricing their home or agreeing to unnecessary requests from the buyer. In our experience, we find regret is usually less about the outcome and more about the decision making process.

Luckily, we rarely see our clients experiencing regret and we think we know why. Decisions that are made intentionally and thoughtfully are less likely to be accompanied by regret. We counsel our clients to take the time they need to research, prepare, ponder - precisely so they will avoid second guessing themselves. We find that even when someone experiences anxiety around a decision, clarity often increases as we talk through the situation and carefully evaluate the various options that exist. 

Since perfection is illusive, we frame decisions in terms of compromise versus settling. Compromise is a thoughtful tradeoff; giving up a preference to gain something of greater value. It’s about aligning long-term goals. Settling is ignoring core needs and acting out of fear or pressure. Sometimes it can be hard to tell if you are compromising or if you are settling and this is where it can be helpful to reflect on the situation. Is the decision congruent with your original goals? Do you feel calm and focused about your choice? When you wake up the day after making the decision, do you feel excited or worried?

In order to avoid regret, it is important to balance the emotions and the logic that accompany buying and selling real estate. Homes are inherently emotional - our lifestyle, identity, memory and community are tied up with where we live. Homes are also  a financial investment - one impacted by budget, valuation, market conditions, timing realities. Think of it this way, emotions can guide the direction we head while logic is the guardrails that keep us on track. The right decision should feel calm and clear, not manic and desperate. Good decisions have the right mix of emotion and logic.

Another aspect of avoiding regret is determining what reactions are driven by internal voices versus external advice. It’s easy to get caught up in social media headlines, co-workers proffering their opinion, family members reminiscing about their experience buying a house 15 years ago. Seeking advice is a smart move, but so is filtering it. Is the advice giver familiar with your finances, your long-term goals? Are they someone whose advice you value? Did you ask for their opinion?

Over the years, we have honed in on a framework for making decisions without regret:

1. Clarify what is non-negotiable to you.

2. Rank preferences.

3. Define financial boundaries and be ok with sticking to them.

4. Understand how you act under pressure before getting into a competitive situation.

5. Ask yourself “Does this align with my goals?” before making any decision.

If you find yourself wanting help clarifying your real estate priorities, we’d love to help. We want our clients to make thoughtful choices they feel confident are the best ones for their particular situation.